Zeta Is The New Alpha

I have two boys that are always at each other’s necks.  There many moments in a day that our home is more like the  Ultimate Fighting cage where one boy pounces on the other and there are fists, feet, knees and elbows flailing about in the hopes of socking the other.  This is several times a times a day, every friggin day.  My nephews were watching Tom & Jerry once and they turned to their mom and declared that Tom & Jerry were just like Gael & Aiden.  They couldn’t have been any more spot on.  When I told this to Gael and Aiden they proceeded to fight over who was Tom and who was Jerry.  I try many, many, many sane ways to stop the insanity.  Many, many, many.  Then I end up yanking them apart and with both locked in the grip of each of my hands I tell them between grit teeth that If ANY one is going to HIT anybody next, it’s going to be ME!!!!!!!

Then I tell myself that zeta has got to be the new friggin alpha.  We all say ridiculous things we swore we would never tell our children.  Right?
Aside from the usual fighting there is also a lot of bickering in Casa Guerrero.  Actually most of the bickering goes on in the Guerrero car.  It is always, ALWAYS about the dumbest trivial things.  Who saw the plane/bird/dog/person crossing the street/bridge/car/cloud/Pasig River/who the fuck cares what first.  Gael’s clues in the I’m Thinking of An Animal game are too hard.  Should the radio be louder or softer.  Aiden is singing too loudly.  He won’t lend me his toy.  He pushed me.  I did not. Did too.  Did not.  Did too.  Don’t think this is a multiple choice sort of deal because as my luck would have it, it is more of an all of the above situation.  And when they cannot possibly bug the fucking hell out me any further that is when I yell at them SHUT UP!  JUST SHUT UP!
Who has the patience to be fucking alpha? Alpha moms are an urban legend.  Seriously, I’ don’t know any alpha moms.  And if I did meet one that seemed alpha-ish she probably fed her child junk food when she wasn’t Instagraming perfect dishes.
Who ever said whining and tantrums stop after the toddler years is a goddamn liar.  My five year old will beat any toddler hands down at whining.  There is a wide spectrum of things that could possibly annoy Aiden so he is whining more often than not.  Cereal that isn’t soggy enough, Gael changing the channel, the electric fan blowing down his Jenga tower, me not giving him dessert for not finishing his food and the list could go on and on.  Then there is seven year old Gael who STILL has a fit when he doesn’t get what he wants.  And I mean the whole shebang of tears, yelling and throwing himself on the floor.  Gael, I love you more than the world but a tantrum?????  Are you three? Haven’t you heard tantrums were so four years ago? You might try to argue that most children are like this or it’s a phase they will outgrow or this can only mean they will be good teenagers and all that crap but it gets even better.  The earthlings are 20 months apart so when Gael is out of one of those “phases” Aiden is just beginning.  On those days there is crazy synchronized whining and tantruming I give them the same doze of immaturity.  I get away from them, lock the door, get on the iPad, hangout on Twitter, browse through the new Zara and H&M collections and play some Words With Friends.
Zeta over alpha any day.  Zeta comes with an iPad.

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